I cannot begin to comprehend the distraught a man must sense when he first discovers that his son has become involved in a homosexual life style. For a Dad who loves the Lord and believes in the Bible this has got to be a most devastating realization. Painful emotions most assuredly must grip his heart; hurt, anger, disbelief and even guilt. How much more is the disbelief when it is the mans first born son, his heir, his pride and joy?
The seems to be a special bond between a man and his son. A camaraderie of sorts that women often share with their little girls. Anticipation of having him grow up, play sports, find a good wife and bring forth the next generation are a few of the many visions a Dad has for his male child. There is often that noticeable pride in the voice as a man shares the accomplishments of his budding protegé so to speak; let alone the way his chest seems to expand as he talks (boasts). This scenario is shattered, literally destroyed when the Dad discovers that his son practices sodomy.
There is a problem with the term homosexuality. A murderer is a murderer and a homosexual is a homosexual. Both are lifestyles that people choose to follow, and both are sinful practices. No one is born a murderer and no one is born with a genetic make up for being a homosexual. It would be similar to having a horse born with a pig head. It just does not happen. God intended for a man to be a man in every sense of the being.
So where does a Dad go from here? He love for his son is so great that he wishes he could just erase the sin and get on with life. Some Dad’s have literally disowned their misfit of an offspring, perhaps to salvage their male pride. God fearing men have not been exempt from this life trauma and even Bible preaching Pastors have had to deal with a son who chose to participate in a homosexual relationship. The struggle within the souls of these men must be agonizing to say the least.
We know from the Bible that God hates sin. The sinful practice of sodomy is especially an abomination to the most Holy God. The practice is totally unnatural. The Lord Jesus has set forth the example that we are to hate the sin but love the sinner. It is ok for a Dad to continue to love his son who is involved in a homosexual life. God commanded his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners……………..Regardless of the sin, God continues to love the sinner. Understandably God cannot ‘look upon’ the sin, nor condone it, nor make excuses for the practice of the sin, and neither should the Dad involved in the same type of situation. Oftentimes God allows harsh circumstances to evolve in ones life to bring them to himself, thereby setting the example for Dad’s to follow. This is like ‘tough love’. When a Dad learns of his son’s homosexual practices, he needs to prayerfully consider initiating specific guidelines or restrictions for the expressed purpose of guiding his son toward repentance.
Men who love the Lord usually keep an open door of communication with their son to reassure him that he is still loved. The son could be included in family gatherings but the ‘friend’ is not. Just as God cannot tolerate sin in his house, the wayward son should not live at home, nor should the parents provide financial assistance that would sustain a homosexual relationship. It is imperative that the Dad seek wisdom from the Lord and be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit in dealing with his son. The Lord gave the example of a man being won to the saving knowledge of Jesus by the Godly example of the wife and so much more so the example of the Dad to the son. Oftentimes, verbal witnessing or admonishing will fall on deaf ears and create unnecessary tension. Some things can only come about by fasting and prayer, with a Godly example.
For those of us who have not been subject to this particular trial in our life, may we ever be mindful to lift these Dad’s before the throne of grace, that they might one day rejoice in the repentance of their prodigal son.