The Saving of the Marriage

7196060-a-couple-at-odds-with-each-otherDear Readers. The following is not an original composition of my making.  It was posted on Facebook by a friend.  The story and the message is of such importance that I felt led to share it with you.  As I finished reading the article tears were streaming down my cheeks.  May you be blessed also!

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said “I’ve something to tell you.”  She sat down and ate quietly.  I observed the hurt in her eyes. I didn’t know how to  open my mouth.  But I had to let her know what I was thinking.  “I want a divorce”.  I raised the topic calmly.  She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, “why?’

I avoided her question.  This made her angry.  She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, “you are not a man!”  That night we did not talk to each other.  She was weeping.  I know she wanted to find out what happened to our marriage.  But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer;  she had lost my heart to Jane.  I didn’t love her anymore.  I just pitied her.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she would own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.  She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.  The woman who had spent ten years of he life with me had become a stranger.  I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly.  Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.  To me her cry was actually a sense of release.  The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table.  I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.  When I woke up she was still there at the table writing.  I didn’t care so I turned over and went to asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions; she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.  She requested that one month we struggle to love as normal as possible.  Her reason was simple:  our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me.  But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day.  She requested that each day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning.  I thought she was going crazy.  Just to made our last days bearable I accepted her odd request.I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions.  She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.  No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.  So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.  Our son clapped behind us, Daddy is holding Mommy in his arms.  His words brought a sense of pain.  From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked with her in my arms.  She closed her eyes and said softly; “Don’t tell our son about the divorce.  I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.

On the second day, both of us acted much more at ease.  She leaned on my chest.  I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.  I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time, she was not a young woman anymore.  Our marriage had taken its toll and at that moment I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her, I felt a sense of intimacy returning for this woman who had given me ten years of her life.  On the fifth and sixth days, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again.  I did not tell Jane about this.  It was becoming easier to carry my wife as the month slipped by.  Perhaps the every day workout made me stronger.  Then one morning I watched as she tried on a few dresses, she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.  I suddenly realized that she had become so thin and that that was the reason I could carry her more easily.  I reached out and touched her head.  At that moment our son came in and said. Dad, it’s time to carry Mom out.This had become an essential part of his life.  As I held her in my arms, her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally; I held her body tightly just like on our wedding day. Her much lighter weight made me sad.  On the last day when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.  I held her tightly and said, “I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.”

I drove to the office,………..jumped out of the car……..ran up the stairs .  Jane opened the door and I said to her “Sorry, Jane, I do not want a divorce anymore.”   My marriage had become boring because we did not value the details of our lives, not because we did not love each other.  Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day that I was supposed to love her till death do us part.  On the way home I stopped by a floral shoppe and bought flowers for my wife.  I hastened home, flowers in my hand, and a big smile on my face.  I ran up the stairs to our bedroom and found my wife lying in bed ……dead!  My wife had been battling cancer for months but I was so wrapped up in Jane that I hadn’t noticed.  She knew that she would die soon and wanted to spare me the negative reaction from our son if we divorced.  She wanted our son to remember me as a loving husband.

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship.  It is not in the mansion, the car. the money in the bank.  These do create an environment conducive to happiness but cannot give happiness  in themselves.  So find time to be  your spouse’s friend and do those things for each other that build intimacy.  If you are not in a relationship now, remember this should you ever be blessed.

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