The media is becoming more riddled with heart breaking articles of children, young and old, being abused at the hands of their parents, relatives, friends or others in supposedly positions of trust. Although many of the nastiest cases reported are those of physical abuse, rarely are there reports of emotional or verbal abuse. Whatever the type of degrading treatment a child receives at the hands of others, it often leaves scars that hinder the childs life, sometimes even into old age. The most devastating, degrading and disgusting infraction upon a child is sometimes at the perverted hand of the very one who brought them into the world. The scars of this abuse interfere in almost all aspects of the childs maturty, in their relationship with others, their marriage partner and especially in their trust of authority. This particular heinous sin against children for the most part is a sordid relationship of a father to his daughter, but cases are reported where a Mom entices her son. Whether the act is by force or intimidation, it is not only an abomination to God, but it violates the entire mind, body and soul of a child.
Sadly, this sin is not necessarily limited to the unsaved parent, but it is becoming evident that even those who name the Name of Christ are guilty of practicing incestuous relationships with their children. A wall of secrecy prevails within the ‘closets’ of the Christian community. God states in Luke 17: 1 that it would be better for them that a millstone were hanged about their neck, and be cast into the sea, than that they should offed one of these little ones. Thrown into the sea where there is not burial maker to acknowledge their prior existence. Jesus spoke harshly to religious leaders whose facade covered their true character. In Matthew 23:27,28, he referred to them as white sepulchres, which appear beautiful on the outside, but within are dead mens bones and all uncleaness……..ye also outwardly appear righteous ……..but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.
Because of the secrecy of this horrendous infraction upon the innocency of children, these youngsters often suffer in silence. Their trust and innocence has been betrayed and they are hesitant to seek help because they have been ‘sworn’ threatened or bribed into secrecy. These ravaged little ones are unable to trust anyone; their minds are filled with distorted knowledge which tarnishes their innocence. Their cry can be found in Psalm 41:9 Yea, mine own familiar friend in whom I trusted….hath lifted up his heel against me. Sometimes a parent will find out through a Camp counsellor that their child is being molested by the spouse; others have found out when the child had been admitted to the hospital for an unrelated ailment. However, or whenever a parent discovers the sexual abuse of the child, she should seek the counsel of the Pastor to assist in dealing with the problem.
Non verbal cries for help in these scenarios can sometimes be detected by changes in behaviors. Some sexually abused children will not want to be left alone with the abusing parent. Young girls will want to go to the grocery with Mom, or even accompany her to the hairdressers rather than stay home with Dad. There may be an uneainess in their demeanor or a pleading in their eyes, when being instructed to remain at home. Other children will indulge in overeating to compensate for the stress related to the confusing nature of this type of abuse. Some children will go from the extreme of profound modesty to sensuousness in dressing. Many books have been written by unsaved authors that set forth other symptoms displayed by victims of incest. The important thing to remember is that when the child has noticeable changes in their behavior it is a red flag that something is amiss. It is important to seek wisdom from the Lord to direct you to the source of the problem. Whether it be sexual abuse or any other issue, the child will need to be dealt with in a compassionate caring manner.
Years ago, a wise Pastor counselled a young mother to write a letter to the wife of the president of a Christian University about her history of paternal sexual abuse. Much to her surprise, the lady sent her a manuscript of her new book “Mount Up on Wounded Wings”. The book was written from a Christian perspective on overcoming incest as well as other childhood atrocities. I would recommend this publication to anyone who needs or is in need of being counselled concerning this topic. The author of the book is Beneth Peter Jones.